Adam Horovitz and Mike Diamond are still dealing with the loss of their longtime Beastie Boys bandmate Adam Yauch, and have now addressed his death in separate interviews with Rolling Stone.

“I’m totally numb,” says Horovitz. “My wife is like, ‘I want to make sure you’re getting it out,’ but then I’m walking the dog and I’ll start crying on the street. It’s pretty f—ing crazy.”

The man also known as Ad-Rock says of Yauch, “[He] was in charge. He was smarter, more organized. In a group of friends, you all come up with stupid s— to do. But you never do it. With Yauch, it got done. He had that extra drive to see things through. We each had our roles. One of his was the make-it-happen person.” Ad-Rock remembered his bandmate as a “really good bassist,” adding that he was “the techno wiz” of the group.

As for Yauch’s death, Horovitz says, “I don’t believe Adam was afraid. Bummed out, yeah. But I can’t think when I ever saw him afraid. We got jumped in Brooklyn one time, so we’ve been afraid in that sense. But, man, he hadn’t been afraid in a long time. That gives me peace.”

Mike Diamond says it was Yauch’s spirituality that helped him through his final journey, but adds that the emcee’s mindset was there even before he adopted the Buddhist religion. “He had a tenacity and faith before he discovered Buddhism. His mom said that was already there,” explained Diamond, who adds that his religious backing would eventually play a larger role in his life. Mike D recalls, “He would disappear for two months of teach by his Holiness the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala. He gradually incorporated that into the music. He was the first to realize we had this soapbox and we needed to do something with it.”

Diamond says it was Yauch that instigated the band’s final recording sessions last fall, and while he had his doubts about being able to pull off his vocals, he did ultimately record on the demos. As for the future, the rapper states, “I can see making music. I don’t know about a band format. But Yauch would genuinely want us to try whatever crazy thing we wanted but never got around to.”

In related news, Horovitz turned up for ‘MCA Day‘ last weekend in NYC’s Union Square. He thanked founder Mike Kearney for putting together the event, and added, “I feel like a bunch of us have been walking around lonely bumping into walls. You got us together outside and in the sunshine. Thank you.”

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